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If you are experiencing an unexpected pregnancy, your first thought might be “I can’t afford a child.”
The reality is finances play a large role in the decision of a woman’s pregnancy. Almost half of all women don’t feel ready to take on the financial weight of providing for a child. If you are feeling this way, just know you’re not alone. Many women have walked through similar situations and fears as you.
You have some big decisions ahead of you. Thankfully, you have several options and steps to help you make the best decision for you and your pregnancy.
What to do when you are pregnant and can’t afford it?
STEP 1: It’s okay to freak out
Let’s be honest. This is not the plan.
You may have had a picture of what you thought your family would look like. And maybe you imagined yourself to be in a more financially secure place before having children.
When your plans change from what you expect, there is a grieving process that occurs. Any time your dreams or plans change unexpectedly, it’s okay to grieve what you thought your life would look like. When you recognize your grief, it helps you understand better how to approach your next steps.
It’s okay to take time and figure out what you’re feeling. We’ve created a guide to help you begin processing your unplanned pregnancy.
STEP 2: Remind yourself you are not stuck
You might already have children and are barely scraping by to provide for them. The thought of adding another life into your household to support and care for can be daunting. Maybe you’re in high school and have plans to attend college and land your dream job. You’re probably thinking “there’s no way I could make any of that possible while supporting a child.”
It can be helpful to identify how you have overcome challenges and unknowns in the past. How might you be able to do that now? Are there detours in life that have now become part of a greater story in your life?
An unexpected pregnancy might make you feel stuck, but it doesn’t have to mean your goals and dreams are gone.
STEP 3: Talk to people you trust
You shouldn’t have to make such big decisions alone. It’s important to have a support system around you who you can rely on and navigate financial options with.
Think of the people in your life who are your biggest supporters. Who is a good listener? Who do you go to for advice? You might even consider talking to a woman you know who’s gone through a similar situation and learn how she managed to get through it.
It can be scary bringing such a personal topic to the people in your life. If you feel like you don’t have someone you can talk to, we would love to listen and answer any questions and concerns you might have. You deserve a comfortable and confidential place to process your worries and explore all pregnancy and financial options without judgment. You can schedule a confidential appointment today.
STEP 4: Evaluate all your options
Once you’ve validated your emotions, examined what’s possible, and talked to people you trust, it’s time to explore all of your pregnancy options.
1. Parenting with financial assistance
Parenting can be a dauting thought. Especially when thinking about the financial situation you may be in. Thankfully, there are many organizations that offer financial help for pregnant women. These organizations offer things like medical bill assistance, healthcare, food, housing, clothing, education, and guidance in finding a stable job. There are also maternity homes in Rhode Island like The Little Flower House and Bethsaida House, that provide free housing during your pregnancy and after, while you get financially stable.
There are numerous programs that exist to help you in your unique circumstances. Never feel ashamed to ask for help. With help, you can still accomplish your goals and dreams while raising a child.
To talk through financial assistance options, make an appointment with our staff today.
2. Adoption
While a lot of people might corollate adoption and foster care as the same, they are very different. Adoption puts you in the driver’s seat to determine what you want to happen after your child is born. It gives you a bit of control when you feel out of control.
It also gives you the time to figure out what you want to do, since in the state of Rhode Island, you have up to 15 days after birth to decide if you still want to place for adoption or decide to parent.
Adoption allows you to choose the family you want to parent your child based on what you want for them. You also get to choose the type of relationship you want with your child and the family.
There are three types of adoption agreements you can choose from.
Open Adoption
An open adoption leaves the door open to build an ongoing relationship with your baby after adoption. You and the adoptive family agree on your interaction. It might look like exchanging letters or regular in-person visits.
Closed Adoption
A closed adoption means there is no contact between you, your baby, and the adoptive family after the adoption. This closes the door to the baby’s involvement in your life after pregnancy.
Semi-open Adoption
Semi-open adoption is a combination of open and closed adoption. It allows you to communicate with the adoptive parents to check in on your child’s life throughout the years while still living an independent life.
Adoption in the state of Rhode Island offers financial assistance from the adoptive family to cover medical expenses, court costs, and more. If you think adoption might be the best option for you, we encourage you to talk with one of our patient advocates who can walk you through options.
3. Abortion
If you don’t want to carry out your pregnancy, abortion can terminate your pregnancy. This is done through a medical abortion, often known as the abortion pill, or a surgical abortion.
Most women seeking an abortion report not being able to afford the baby or feeling as if the baby would interfere with work, school, or life goals.
While abortion may be marketed as one of the most financially beneficial options for your pregnancy, it is still a large out-of-pocket expense. Abortion costs can range anywhere from $500-$2,000 in Rhode Island depending on what abortion you’re eligible for and what insurance you have.
It’s important to weigh the emotional cost in this decision too. What are you more likely to look back on and wish you would have done differently? Even if it’s the easier thing to do right now, will it make your life more fulfilling down the road?
It’s important to discuss your options, health, and financial situation with a trusted person before deciding what to do about your pregnancy.
You’re not alone – get support at Harmony Women’s Care
Feeling overwhelmed by something you didn’t plan for is completely normal. Whether you’re worried, scared, or angry, you don’t have to go through this alone. If you would like to learn more about the financial pregnancy options available to you, contact us today.
All our services are offered to you at no cost with no insurance is needed.
You don’t have to make a decision out of fear or worry. And you never have to make this decision alone.